Lazy times in Sihanoukville, Cambodia

16 March - 3 April 2013

Sam constantly spoke of this secret paradise in the South of Cambodia where he was free to drink extremely cheap alcohol, smoke copious amounts of weed, fish, swim and anything his heart desired all on a sandy beach with plenty of friendly locals who often joined in. Such a place does still exist as we found out, even though after 6yrs since his visit it is more touristy, built up, less locals floating around and of course the fact you now have to smoke weed in a more subtle way or risk yourself having to bribe the police with a very large sum of money. It's certainly not the same Sihanoukville as Sam remembers it, but still a paradise nonetheless.

'Happy' shakes on Serendipity beach

We jumped on a bus bound for the beach straight after our luxury flight from Bangkok to Phnom Penh. The bus drove into the night and was extremely slow, so slow in fact that we did not arrive until 10.30pm which we then grabbed a tuk tuk to 'Victory Hill' to meet Anders - a very good Danish friend who lived with me for 3-4months last year. Sam had never heard of this hill and didn't know there were other suburbs of Sihanoukville. He had only ever been to Serendipity beach which is the paradise I was talking about above. Victory Hill was about 15kms from there but as we were there to help celebrate Anders birthday we ended up spending 11days on the hill with him before making our way down to Serendipity.

We proceeded to spend that 11 days smoking ridiculous amounts of weed with Anders to all hrs in the night, sleeping til late afternoon everyday, eating meals at stupid times of the day and night and binging on junk food when the munchies struck. It was a great time indeed :) Anders birthday itself was very laid back and we didn't actually get going til sunset. The guesthouse we were all staying at is a special place that Anders and his girlfriend return to quite often so they know the family who run it very well. The owners wife, a lovely Khmer lady (the owner himself is french but has lived there for 8yrs) was so kind she actually cooked up a special feast just for Anders. Holey moley it was to die for. An assortment of tender barbecued meats, incredible salads with the most amazing sauces. It was mouth watering. Nothing beats a true home made meal and especially from a Khmer! (I haven't mentioned yet that the local cuisine in Cambodia is simply divine).

Shots of the owners lethal homemade alcohol for Anders birthday

Michelle (The french owner, yes a girls name for a man :P), whipped up 11 litres of his home made sangria which was the strongest I have ever had. Sam didn't like it but I did and enjoyed glass after glass which of course ended up in a drunk Heather. The joints were also being passed around freely and soon enough I had to take a walk to stop spinning out. Anders seemed to be loving his evening which of course is the most important thing for the birthday boy. It was his 30th after all.

When Anders and his girlfriend Ipan left Cambodia, Sam and I headed on down to a bungalow by Serendipity beach. Our days didn't vary too much from sleeping in til late, smoking loads of weed and eating at all weird times of the day. The only difference now was we were on the beach and able to do all of that at Khin's shack - Sam's favourite place from 6yrs ago. Khin, the lovely owner and her family ran the place well and were extremely friendly they'd often hang out with us chatting about the past 6yrs and how the govt made them pay $500 to help put the ugly concrete sidewalk in which now lines the beach and bars. Everything use to be in sand, but now the bars all have concrete. It's sad but it's all a part of change I guess. Khin still had her full 'Happy' Menu and it was Sam's mission to have everything off it by the time we left. Hedid a  jolly good job but didn't have the pizza or tea. Can you imagine a weed tea? yuck!

We made friends with 3 ginger cats that hung around Khin's. Every time we sat down we'd find at least one if not all hanging around at our feet waiting for us to order food as they knew we were more then happy to share our leftovers. Anders taught us that cats love the fish head so whenever we finished a whole fish we'd cut off the head and feed it to them! Soon they were hanging around us even when we had no food to give. We believe it was true love.

One of the cats having a nap on Sam's foot

There were local ladies who roamed the beach trying to give out massages, manicures, pedicures, waxing - basically whatever you wanted and they would give it to you. Sam and I got $3 back and shoulder massages one day while sitting at Khin's shack and smoking a joint. I also ended up getting a mani and pedi. While the lady was doing that she noticed my hairy legs and started saying I needed hair removal which she could offer. I didn't quite understand how they would wax on the beach so she got our these two pieces of string, crossed them, then started plucking each hair our individually. It was painful and would take forever! No thank you I said to her but she would not give up! They are so damn persistant. From that day onwards women constantly pointed out my hairy legs, saying I needed them to remove it, haha. I kept forgetting to shave before hitting the beach. there were these two girls one day who were trying to sell us bracelets. They were very clever in how they worked and Sam ended up having one made for him while I bought an already made one from the second girl. That girl ended up having an attitude - she saw my legs and would not shut up about how hairy they were and kept rubbing her hands up and down. I kept saying no it's fine, I will shave them one day and it doesn't matter that I have hairy legs. She then said "Maybe it's ok for you, but when others look at your legs they will be like 'ewwwww gross'. This girl made me crack up! She was so funny. Sam and I had a great time arguing with her. I loved her attitude and her honesty. I soon found out they were only 16.

Sam getting a custom made bracelet from one of the girls

One day  we were walking down the beach looking to have some time off the weed and enjoy a few drinks instead when a blonde surfer dude stopped us in our tracks and talked us into a party boat cruise that was leaving in exactly 10mins. Just what we were looking for. We raced back to our room to change into swimmers, leave our valuables and only bring enough money for the afternoon's alcohol. What a great idea that ended up being! Within minutes we met this lovely Germany girl, Stef who became a really great party friend. The rest of the people on the boat seemed to be stupid-idly young and horny who couldn't handle their alcohol. Within the first 30mins over half the girls on the boat were jumping off the roof topless to score a free lukewarm can beer which only costs $1 anyway. Sam ended up jumping off to try and catch his free beer in the air but did not succeed and instead lost his wallet with his $60 for the afternoon because he forgot to remove it from his board shorts. I ended up using this to score us two free beers by the Khmer dude who was serving the drinks. I put on the sob story how I know had to buy all my boyfriends drinks for the rest of the afternoon and it would be nice if we at least didn't have to pay for the first ones. Sure enough it worked!

Waiting to board the party boat with our free welcome whiskey bucket

We stopped at this island and all swam to the sandy beach to form two lines, one boys and one girls. We were then given a short of the awful Mekong Whiskey and the first line to finish their shot won. The person at the front of the chain started and the next person couldn't start theirs til the person in front had finished and so on. Of course the boys won and you know what that meant for the girls? Our bikinis being untied! I did not realize there was a punishment involved until I felt my top loosen after one of the boys undid my tie. Luckily I caught it in time and Sam came to the rescue retying it.

Stef & I waiting in line with our whiskey shots

The boys vs girls

There was loud music and dancing and girls who ended up leaving their tops off and dancing in just their bikini bottoms. I'm sure the Khmer boys were loving it. Sam, Stef and I just watched on from the sidelines laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. It was fun though. In the last leg back to shore as the sun was going down I ended up talking with with this British guy who wanted to wear my hat. I stupidly let him wear it only to lose him the moment we docked and when I did run into him again later he no longer had it - a tuk tuk driver took it apparently. I was fuming mad from this moment on, anyone who knows me knows you do not touch the hat! And if I somehow let you wear it you NEVER lose it. I was quite drunk so I guess my anger was accentuated which is why Sam decided to order me a double shot of vodka (we were at the Dolphin bar now which is the place that runs the booze cruises). I ended up leaving Sam to his new friends at the bar and played some beer bong with a local Khmer on my side. We kicked arse of course - he was bloody brilliant! The westerners on the other side had no chance. The khmer never actually drank any of the beer either, whenever the other team got one in the cup was handed to me and of course I was willing to skull it.

Then there is another blackout. I don't know what happened but I came to in the bushes behind the bar. I was lying in the leaves with the top of my jumpsuit undone and off as if I was trying to pee. That's the annoying thing about jumpsuits, you have to take the whole thing off to go to the toilet. I must've been trying to pee and then fell over and passed out. When I came to I was lying down and could hear rats crawling all around me but I couldn't get up. Then these two guys found me and helped me and put my jumpsuit top back on. They then supported me as we walked back to my guesthouse trying to find Sam. When we did they went off at him telling him he needed to take better care of his girlfriend. I was laughing sheepishly at the whole thing, I  knew it was my fault. Sam said I just disappeared and he had actually gone back to the room to see if I was there. He has no idea how long I was missing for though as he was drunk to and we had been socializing with different people so it took awhile for him to even notice I wasn't there anymore. God damn I'm a lucky girl yet again! I woke up with scratches all over me the next day which must've been the bushes, oh and I had no shoes. No idea what happened to my thongs but when the boys found me they said I was barefoot.. Haha so I lost my hat and thongs in the same night! Oh and Sam lost his second wallet which he reckon had $150 to $200 in it. As he had lost his cheap wallet which he only keeps some cash in on the boat, he had gone to the room and got his main wallet that he keeps the rest of his money in and just taken that out, not even thinking to only take a little out. He said there was a Khmer dude who had been weirdly eying him off all night so he reckons he pick pocketed him as Sam never loses his wallet. It's always in his pocket.

Chilling at our favourite Khin's shack with a Mai Tai

Eventually it was time for Sam and I to move on as we spent 2 and half weeks doing nothing in Sihanoukville.  Even though eating amazing seafood, watching endless sunsets, drinking cheap cocktails, beer and smoking copious amounts of weed day in and day out really is heaven on Earth - at some point you need to see the rest of the world. 

Sam & Ipan playing cards on Serendipity beach, (Khin's), at sunset

Khin's awesome Scallops - this whole plate only $3!

We looked at dates and decided that we'd cut a week off Cambodia so we could still have a full month in Laos and a full month in Vietnam while making it home in Darwin for the June long weekend to go camping. (Now we have decided to miss the long weekend due to the fact no one is camping so that extra week will go towards Vietnam - I've heard we'll need it!). It was time to head North to Siem Reap to visit the famous temples before continuing North to country No. 5 - Laos! :)